Self-Uninterest

I still need some time to sort my shit out before i update the Waffles and Mark fb status. Well, it got complicated, but I don't want to talk about it until after I get calmed down.

Instead let's look at current events, because those never make anyone upset.

Hmmmm, Canada has some stuff, blah blah blah, hockey, blah blah blah, not much gay/good looking men stuff. So we'll skip that and look at some pressing matters down south.

Lt. Dan Choi got arrested!
WTF! I don't really know much about the man except that he is the poster manchild of DADT lately. He was going to go to UBC (to give a lecture) if their pride organisation could muster some ridiculous amount of funds (several thousand dollars). But he got arrested at the White House (or in front) for protesting DADT. Good for him, not enough rightious people are being arrested these days for their causes. Let's follow his example and all get arrested (then let the jailhouse rock really begin).

While I myself am a coward and always banked on my pink card to get me out of fighting any wars, I have nothing but respect for the men and women who put their lives on the line for others. [edited criticism of a certain douchey president/vice-president and their douchbaggery] Especially the ones who have to make the personal sacrifice by staying closeted or else getting kicked out of their career. It's BS.

Moving on...

Let the Dykes Dance
I may not agree with their ability to dance, but i will defend to the death the right to do it (seriously, there's something hypnotic about watching them). All jokes aside, I'd like to have a conversation with the person who thought this was a good solution to the problem. I'm sure the thought process was something like:

Well I could either let these, girls go together, OR I could make them the cause of us cancelling the prom... Which would do more damage to everyone involved? Hmmmm. Sully the reputation of our school, embroil us in controversy, and make this girl a social-martyr for gay rights, or let them dance... It's tough...

Toss up, i'm not sure which I would rather... fuck some people are stupid. Speaking of stupid, a General is responding to calls for the end of DADT by citing gay dutch troops as the cause of a massacre during the Bosnian war.

I'm ashamed to be human today.

I'm sure there are loads of other things I just wanted to get some ranting done...

I still need a sign off.

Que Sera Sera

Hello Children
I'm not sure how it happened, but for some reason I've started posting on here more regularly than my dearest Waffles and Old Man Grey... (I should probably call an ambulance to check up on him)

Oh my, so little has happened and yet I still need to tell you, my dearies, about so much. Earl is off the wagon (Seinfeld-ian aside, is it off the wagon or on the wagon?) anyway, he's an adult and I think we can all forgive him for partaking in something that's as natural as breathing for most of us... (or me anyway)

I haven't seen Waffles in a few days, but apparently he's been here to clean things up, I think he's sulky about something but he usually tells me such things so I don't care. And even if I did, it would probably only be because I was right about he and his ex being a bad idea... Suck it. I was right.

As for little J, he's off to Greece. We spoke very briefly before he left, he seemed excited, I told him to sleep with someone pretty with an outrageous last name for me and back hair thick enough to braid and he laughed... then he got kind of quiet. I don't even know what to make from that, I told him to have fun though.

Then the unthinkable happened.

I turned off the cam, and sighed. Lordy what's a happenin to me? Sighing is a tremendously sacred act for queens and queers, reserved for moments of utter mockery. Usually paired with an eye roll, a bitch please, or just a scathing look, the sigh is to be deployed with the utmost of bitchery. But this... this was an honestly pensive *sigh*. I miss him. And I think he may've been disappointed when I told him to sleep with something pretty.

Fuck real emotions, I'm going dancing tonight with some of the Daniels, perhaps Waffles if he feels up to it after work (by that i mean he's not off fucking his emotions/mark). Join me if you like, i'll be the Fab Drag Queen double fisting on the dance floor.

You're all a bunch of slags
Duchess Anita Fisten-Botten

Puzzles

Hello Children
I do feel much better, thank you so much for asking. It was however quite difficult to get myself back to work today as I was enjoying not doing a thing for several days...

Now I won't give you the exciting details of my dramatic recovery, I will mention that flu meds with a mystery expiration date and rupaul's drag race make for interesting and vivid dreams. I did talk to little J yesterday though, on skype so we didn't have to waste any more precious dollars that I already don't have. His term is going well, although apparently the two weeks he took off for the olympics weren't his spring break, which is next week... and while I would love to say that he'll be coming on down to visit this queen for a week... sadly he's going to Greece. Slag. He's gonna meet some sexy chica on the beach to replace me.

Alright so i'm less upset by the prospect of such hotties w/ j provided its videotaped... but still.

I'm at Old Man Grey's house, he is pretty sick still, poor thing, on his way out and all. He asked me to help him with his new office layout, it's like tetris. Make everything fit and make sure there aren't stupid unusable spaces.

In between his coughing hacking and wheezing, Grey is telling me about an amusing comic book character he thought of. Just so we're clear concrete is not a superpower. Anyway, I voiced my opinion that lab accidents were no longer interesting origin stories. If I were a super hero (and sometimes I think I am) I would want an amazing origin. Like cloud from marvel comics, a sentient nebula to-be? why yes, that is feasible.

Granted I haven't exactly revolutionised the comic industry, but one day. Perhaps a fabulous drag queen is getting hate crimed when she discovers that she can use songs(lip-sync'd of course) to distort the perceptions of others! Or an over the hill mo discovers he has a magic teapot that helps him solve crimes (somehow).

Maybe I'll go visit the compassion club and get some... inspiration.

You're all a bunch of slags
Duchess Anita Fisten-Botten

Exiled

i'm back at home now (living at mark's was getting to be too difficult with our schedules and figuring out who's going to need the key when) bah... but it was a good time. Well, there were some minor issues, but i'll get into that in more detail laterface.

First, Anita is still sick, but she's getting better. Her nose is all icky and leaky, and she sounds like a 60 year old smoker. Nevertheless she's braving work again (which is bold because its cold and wet outside and she's going to probably die a little bit) but she's a tough ladyboy. The house was a mess, but since we only have the one room we (read: i) was able to clean it up enough that it is liveable again.

Speaking of living, I asked Mark how he is able to afford living in Van... and he basically said his parents helped him move in and bought the furniture and blah blah blah all but pay his rent/food/bills. It's a nice thing to do and it allowed him to move here, but i can't help but feel a little, jealous.

My parents aren't that well off so most everthing i've got is my own (except for a few hand em downs) and i've been working since i.... alright so i edited my complaints down so i don't seem like such a paperbag princess.

Also, Mark is out to his parents! i can't even believe it... he always said that he would never be out, that it didn't suit his lifestyle (him being a jock or some nonsense) and yet here he is... i guess people change. He didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal and his parents got over it fairly well. He started talking about how he told them and all the obligatory emotions that went along with it... and then there was a silence and he was waiting/hoping to hear my coming out story and i had to confess that i wasn't out...

Secret shame, i'm still in the closet. I know it's not unheard of at my age, but at the same time I'm really ok with being queer it's just that i've seen how it turned out for anita and i can't bring myself to do it.

It'll have to happen eventually, i know that, but not yet...

Mark was a little disappointed in me i think, (he didn't say it, but he definately was acting differently afterwards). he did give me a hug tho which was more emotional than usual (usally means the hugging is lusty and precursor to same-sex sex... which happened later anyway but that's besides the point)

so i feel weird, my ex is clearly out queering me (despite the fact that he has yet to go to a real gay club and that i live w/ a drag queen), i still like him as more than just friends (w/ benefits), and all i want to do is lay in bed and jerk off to adam's song by blink 182...

alright that's a fucked up visual

i still need a sign off...

Icky

Hello children

As waffles has mentioned i am ill, don't cry for me, i'm sure *cough* i'll get *wheeze* over it *vomits everything i've ever eaten*

that has been my sad existance for the past 2 days... but i think it's getting better... (or at least i've run out of things to throw up)

anyway, i've lost parts of my mind to boredom/tv atrophy. the melting pot of my viewing schedule has left me feeling... hyper-creative/incoherent.

no reviews here (but i did watch Chuck season 1, house, project runway, survivor, amazing race, and the real world)

reality tv is terrible, not because it's more or less contrived than the 'drama' that tvland is putting out, but because it saps my will to live/help my fellow man (except perhaps that wonderfully bisexual mike...)

he's nice to look at provided you don't look at his eyebrows... but i really don't think i should be throwing any stones... (i did just watch 15 mins of youtube focussing on songs sung in ASL)

but hey, my steady diet of coffee and alcohol coupled with being a bike messanger and a dancehall enthusiast keeps me in decent shape (plus vomiting is good for your abs right?) anyway, mike seems like an upstanding gentleman whose roomates seem to be good at reflecting society's biphobia, it exists, move on

ufhgskl i feel nastier than the girl who doesn't get service from macdonalds because she left her shoes at the strip club in fort mcmurray... (was that a stretch?) oh well shit... btw gaga is ridiculous

You're all a bunch of slags
Duchess Anita Fisten-Botten

Infected

Anita is sick.

REAL SICK...

Like didn't go to work, hasn't been able to get out of bed except to vomit, sick

it's icky.

On the plus side, since B (thus ruling earl's house out) is sick and i have only so many friends, i'm shacking up with mark for time being... i hope anita never gets better... Alright that's a tad dramatic. I shouldn't be so creepy/stalker-ish especially since as far as we're (read: he's) concerned we're just friends...

but how can you be friends with this?!?

alright so that's an exaggeration, but for serious, he's got a great body... and if that were all he had then i think i'd be over him, but we've got a history. that goosebumps like when he first touched me history... and i realise that the more i hang out with him the more similar we are.

Like, we both have a strange karmic attraction to the number 11... i'm trying to think of some other's that sound less crazy but all i can think of is our love of olives or other stupid things...

anyway...
i'm gonna go meet up w/ him... hope the secks is fantastic
i still need a signoff

Ennui

Hello Children

Another dialled down day, work was stupid and i don't even want to talk about it, you can't make me, really? you mean you're wanting to hear about it? Oh, I suppose so.

The tale of Anita the Fabulous Bike Messanger

Okay so I don't ride a mf broom, deal with it. I would if i could tho. Anyway, I started work at 8, and was hoping to relax for a bit dt before the lazy SOB's in the offices started paging. Just got a coffee and was sitting with ma bike when i was given my marching orders.

The first order of the day was a single envelope from one company to their lawyers across the street, it was Priority 1. No joke, these people couldn't get off their own asses to deliver their own fucking letter which probably said:

dear evil lawyer
thank you so much for giving our company the legal rights to destroy the environment and kill babies and make a fortune doing it

sincerely
a fat douche

That is how i picture the people i deliver for. But since all I ever see is their tired looking secretary administrative assistant, I wouldn't know. Granted I do enjoy one building dt, it's right above pacific centre and the guy on the 15th floor makes it worth the while, too bad i can't always go there...

Anyway, job 1 went off without a hitch, job two was for a company near GM place. I went in there and picked up a couple of letters but this old lady started reaming me out.

Apparently the last messenger didn't deliver them fast enough (i wanted to point out that yelling at me is only going to slow me down). I couldn't help but think of the old woman with the shoe that was an obstacle in Paperboy (for the nintendo)

Anyway, despite my ability to get my job done, i still felt lousey afterwards. (not even crisp air, endorphines, and caffiene could pick me up) The rest of the day wasn't too bad tho

I did go to tea with earl, he listened to me bitch about how i've been extra bitchy lately (he concurred).

earl: what have yuo been eating lately?
afb: bitch please do i look like i've been eating?
earl: *bitch please stare*
afb: not great i guess, coffee for breakfast, fruit and sandwich throughout the day, then whatever we have at home
earl: well i find that not eating enough coupled with too much sugar and not enough sleep makes me go a little crazy... i can only imagine what it would do to you

for all my fabulous bravado, i listened to earl, maybe that's all i'm missing, no sleep and no food makes annie go something something... but i don't think so, and earl knew it too i bet... he just didn't want to admit the futility of my absent swiss choclatier (little J we'll call him). He said he wants to come back when his spring term is over, but i felt guilty about that, me guilty, can you imagine?

these real emotions are a pain, maybe i'll just go to C's bday party at the O on sat and forget all my troubles with a bottle of fun (followed by a bottle of self-pity, then one of remorse)

you're all a bunch of slags
Duchess Anita Fisten-Botten

Nice Eyes

smiles are nice, but i like eyes, i'm a sucker for them...

my great-aunt (a fab old lady who reminds me of a combo of anita and earl in hair curlers) used to rant (between the cigarettes) about all manner of things, included in these things was her claim that she could tell everything about a person from their eyes...

after that i didn't want to look at her in the eyes if i could help it, and she winked at me and said she wouldn't tell anyone. Freaked me out, because i wasn't sure whether she was full of shit or not... but i was in an early stage of being a baby gay so i didn't want her to figure it out before i had the opportunity to figure it out...

so what do eyes say about a person? gateway to the soul and all that jazz?

you be the judge



mmmm, lurve those eyes it's getting me all hot and bothered

anita has some nice eyes, really nice, light blue almost grey, very serene but still have a twinkle of magic to them

earl's eyes, once you get past the crows feet and bags, also nice, but more sagely (still may be the bags+crow feet)

there, no longer hot and bothered...

i still need a sign-off

Hangover...

Hello Children

Everyone's favourite queen is back... albeit slightly diminished... Well hungover at any rate, Waffles says I've gone soft... maybe i have but I'll still cut you!

Anyway, i'm not hungover right now (I only had 1 bottle of wine last night and that is NOT enough), not really anyway, more like a life hangover. The olympics are over and while I didn't really get caught up in whipping out medals or the like, I did have fun.

So as waffles said i was seeing a boy over the past two weeks, now he's gone and i'm actually upset (especially considering it was just supposed to be a one night stand)...

I'm not really sure what it was about him, perhaps that he was so exotic (yes europe is exotic to a ho like me)... it turns out he was swiss (sort of) but lives in paris and glasgow (one for school one for parents). His family has some kind of chocolate fortune (which is as delicious as it sounds). But despite being wonderfully eurotrash and upper class, he doesn't act it, in fact he slums it so well I thought he was going to rob me in my sleep.

*swoon* he didn't rob me though...

i talked to him last night (may've gotten a calling card or five) and he said he was settling back into life, but he missed me... what a fucking prick.

k i have to be more coherent... i'd say it was my time of the month or that i'm knocked up but i think i may actually just be having real emotions for a change.

I didn't think that was possible but here I am. Maybe I'll talk to earl or one of my lady friends about it, they're pretty good with real things.

Dear Diary
The first person I have actual emotions for left the continent. I tell myself that it's for the better that I can go back to my real life, but I think I really liked him. A lot...

I'm the slag
Anita F-B

Helping out

(910):
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.

reading texts from last night is fun... sometimes i wonder if i've ever sent anything that patheti-funny... i doubt it... unless i was too drunk to remember...

i didn't watch the oscars last night (save you're hissing queens) i was at work. it wasn't super busy, but i didn't feel too enthused to be there, mostly because lately i've been spending some time... (read: too much time) with Mark, he seems to be doing well in van, let's face it his personality is far more conducive to meeting, interesting, or some combination of the two, people...

let's face it if i didn't meet up with anita that one fatefull night i would be far different. i'd probably be in school for one, being dull^2 every night, find a job i hate, live a miserable existance and die alone...

although Mark would still move here... sigh, he's so pretty. We usually end up hooking up when we hang out, but i think i should tell himface how i feel so that he doesn't realise how much better he could do... it's a good thing the gayest bar we've been to in van was in a moxies (and not even the one on davie) otherwise the guys would be all over him... fuck